i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
this beer tastes like vomit already
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
