Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
high people should be assigned attendants
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
