I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
