oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
