'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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