Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
