This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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