Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
