Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
