Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
