i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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