Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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