Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
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