I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
