I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
