when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
