Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
