love makes seman taste better
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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