Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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