just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i permit you to call me
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
