I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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