There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
A bitchslap is in order.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
