I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
