Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
