there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
