I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
wat bout pragnant strippers??
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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