she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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