I hate your face
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
