he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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