she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
