i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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