and you said cock pushups were impossible
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
