Don't make out with my wife yet
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
