Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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