Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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