I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
