I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
