I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
