just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
