im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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