So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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