So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
