my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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