she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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