Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
