R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I am spending my child support on dildos
he thought i was a dude.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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