well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
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Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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