I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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