THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
