just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
