I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
