How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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