Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
