I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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