As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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