I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
