Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
