I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize