I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
