if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
