Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
You pole danced in your parka.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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