the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Randomize
