You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
